Tag Archives: friendship

IDIOTS GUIDE TO THE UNIVERSE #6. | What Company Do You Keep?

 

Sign #6: Idiots Surround Themselves With Idiots

From as far back as I can remember, as a kid, I was always admonished, “birds of a feather flock together” and, of course, the very famous, “show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.

The intent of these messages, and other similar ones as well, I believe, was for us kids to shun bad influences from peer groups particularly by avoiding the negative groups themselves and to choose friendships that promoted positive attributes.

Naturally, we gravitate towards people who exhibit common traits, interests and tastes with us and who do similar activities as we do. We tend to associate and congregate with these people.

Idiots are not exempted from this rule

One sign of an idiot is the level of dedication with which they seek other idiots.

This confluence of idiots, desperately seeking to outdo themselves in their display of idiocy, will tell them what they want to hear; gleefully argue with them about insensible things; facilitate the wasting and killing of precious time; encourage them to complain about problems they have never thought of solving; drag them to failure [I heard that failure, to some people, becomes more acceptable when they discover that “other people failed too”. This is particularly true of idiots].

Perhaps the most important function of the support system which an idiot builds around himself is that it fosters a mutual scoff at wisdom and lends credibility to inanity.

If a non-idiot chances upon such a congregation, he has two options really- to join them in their hearty feast of folly and risk being infected by the idiot bug or to simply walk away. If he dares attempt to teach sound knowledge, he will be promptly dealt with. He will receive the severest tongue-lashing of his one life and, if care is not taken, this wise man may begin to think that perhaps he is the idiot. If a single idiot is hard to convince, think of the miracle it will take for a congregation of idiots.

I think this is the most revealing sign of an idiot for a very valid reason.

Arguably, the easiest way to pick up, maintain and/or propagate a practice is through groups. If you want to pick up a trait, you mingle with persons who exhibit that particular trait. If you want to be wise, you mix with people who are wise. Simple and basic.

An idiot has a higher chance of being redeemed from his idiocy when he mixes with wise people than he does if he remains in the Idiot Union. If a person repeatedly exhibits idiotic tendencies, it is very likely because he is frequently within a system with a powerful force field of idiocy and which encourages the display of such.

There are many things one can do to stop being an idiot but the most important one, I believe, is to consciously begin to avoid other idiots. This, sometimes, may be quite difficult but it is a needful lesson we all must learn and apply in life. After all, who loves to lose a friend, especially a long time friend?

But I have learnt that as we grow, some associations must change. If we are not headed in the same direction, then what on earth are we doing in the same boat?

That you were important in my past does not necessarily mean that you would be instrumental in my future.

It doesn’t mean I hate you or that I would stop talking with you. No. It just means that I would spend very, very little time being around you. Destiny is calling. I must heed. Goodbye.

If an idiot says he wants to be wise, but remains in the Idiot Union, he just likes the sound of his voice and is only in love with the idea of being wise.

Show me a consistent, unrepentant idiot, and I will tell you who his friends are.


Akpoveta Valentine ‘t

Kineto Leadership Coach

He has served severally in Leadership Capacities in various Organizations and is a contributor to several Print and Web Media.  He is also passionate about nation-building. His pastimes include Critical Thinking, Reading, Group Discussions, Net Surfing and Writing. You can connect with him On Facebook.

Everyone Has Got BEEF And I Got One For You Sorry.

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We face personal worries that bullies us every day. It could be trying to get your home work done, calling for a higher pay, trying to get results, just anything. And sometimes our worries gets  the best of us. it could be good thoughts and harmful on other levels. I tell people, as much as possible try to stay open minded on any matter that worries you or tabled at your feet but then people can be very funny.

Whether open minded or other wise, some people will damn tell you what they assume. Most times annoying, other times welcoming or you just feel indifferent about it.

Beef here implies… worry, vexation, feigned annoyance, not being nice and whatever you can equate it to.

Once someone told me I was shying away, being restricted. I really do not owe this person an explanation, then I ask myself, shying away from what! You want me to expose my whole life on social media? What exactly do you want from me?

See? I got beef for anyone who thinks other wise of the one true person I believe I am.
We know people would say all sorts of things they think you are, but when you don’t expect one person you think you know to say such, it’s a different matter or what the heck! I don’t know.
I just know this.

I got beef, for anyone who thinks otherwise of what I am. What are you? God?

Secondly, i do not believe in “follow me I follow you.” Gosh! Why can’t people have a mind of their own?  Why do you  have to try so hard to please somebody all in the name of trying to get their attention or be part of the flock! I could care less but then it is crazy! You know why?

See , I have for beef for anyone who do follow follow especially on someone’s post ( even if they post nonsense ) just because they want to count. Being a huge fan of someone doesn’t necessarily call for you to be a “stalker” at every turn and miss other important stuffs going on around you.
Do what you need do if it is necessary and get out. Some social media sites drive me nuts. You see someone post something so important, you miss it, then you see the same person post nonsense. I mean nonsense and you come up from nowhere and make a comment?  The devil is really strong on this one. Who does that? Humour and free flow is necessary sometimes but not every time. Fine, people miss posts or you sometimes but then I really care less about that right now. What do you have to say if you miss someone’s post like 6 times? You can’t tell me it is unintentional. ( or is the devil strong on that one too? ) Even if it is, I refuse to take it.

What am I even saying? This is what happened somewhere. I’ll take it up on the third.

On the third roll, I have friends who are so annoying. Okay…I am as annoying as they are too… in their own eyes. Heck we are all annoying in some way if we don’t dance to specific tunes but wait! Let’s talk about it.
What is friendship?
Last time I checked, I thought friendship means being supportive of someone who you share interests with. Being encouraging to someone who needs a shoulder, being there for someone when they need you, being able to help when asked for it. To nourish and grow you, to reciprocate your love…

Friendship is a state of being. Eyes roll.

Some of my so called friends DO NONE OF THESE!  Haba! And they call themselves friends.
Please, I have beef for people who see themselves as my friend and cannot help me grow better. Who the heck are you anyways? You are not my friend if you are so into yourself or just indifferent about how I feel or what I do. I mean why am I friends with you anyways? If you cannot help my life?  Or the things I do? Tell me.

Thing is I don’t think there has ever been a time a friend would call for my help that I won’t be at the fore front running up and down  to meet the demand but why don’t you reciprocate? Why do I have to beg you “every time” or remind you? Note the “every time” emphasis. You know what i am talking about, if you don’t, please keep your assumptions to yourself. Oh I am not important right? I should show you what it means not to be important.

Queer thing is you see some of those friends jump up and down giving a lift or a hand to other friends around you. Sometimes it’s unconscious or indirect but do I have to spell it? Even if i spell  it( which I do, I mean, I am a pest.) How have you helped my life or am I asking for too much?

Honestly, i care less right now.
And for those that THINK  they qualify or did all of those, please i seriously do not have time to start praising you right now. I believe you received enough gratitude at the point of helping. And I never forget help even if you can’t see that. Not in the long run so let’s leave it that way.

On a third and quarter, I equally have beef for friends or people  who pretend they don’t see that you need them. Instance, if you tag me in a post, it means you need my attention on it. I try as much as possible to like or comment( if it appeals to me of course)  but you can’t possibly have tagged me five of your list without me reading at least three and acknowledging it. So if I tag you in mine, why do you pretend that you didn’t see it? 1, 2,3,4,5,6 times? Not even acknowledging once or twice? I can’t listen to your explanations right now.
let us make it easier for our lives.
DON’T TAG ME to your freaking post!

On third and half, some things can get you so distracted! Even some people. Please in whatever you do or wherever you find yourself, be yourself! Don’t let anyone force you to do what you don’t wanna do!  If you hurt a friend indirectly say you did something right with regards to your principles as a person and your friend(s) is annoyed with you and hurt, Please apologise, NOT BECAUSE  YOU THINK YOU ARE WRONG FOR WHAT YOU DID BUT BECAUSE YOU HURT THEIR FEELINGS by doing what is right. That’s all! Never go against your principles ( the right ones) as a person because your friend expect you to do one thing and you did another. Look, we are different people, we have needs and we have expectations. If you don’t do what people expect, it is not a crime. You are entitled to do whatever you damn want as long as it hurts nobody. If it does hurt and you are CALLED to the hurt, do apologise for…( look above). It becomes a crime when a friend SEEKS  your help and EXPECTS you to help and you don’t!
As I was saying, people can be distracting, I forgot I know ‘how to talk’ on paper. It was the very essence of me starting up a blog. Please, never let all these paparazi everywhere make you ‘miss road’ because it happens. Check it constantly to remind yourself of the address.

Lastly, if you have beef for me. Good for you because we are even.
I got beef for you too.
Plus I don’t need to explain myself again, I have every right as a friend to have beef for you.

Beef makes us grow and heck! I just grew taller.

Or we could make my life easier.
Defriend you.
So I won’t have heart attack.

Thank you.