Getting Up Is The Problem Innit? | Why You Should Sweat It


It’s warm and cosy. Preferable, you are having a chocolate bite in your dream and somewhere along the corners of your bed, your leg spreads nicely in a v shape. Because at that moment, life is good and you would be damned to tolerate anything that will make it go bad.

Sleep is sweet.

But what did I read about poverty coming down like an armed man demanding for ransom? I think you know what I mean. So it’s really hard getting up from bed to do stuffs. Especially during the cold season where you just want to be snuffed up in your warmers and blankets.

I know.

READ MORE: In The Spirit Of Valentine, Hey Eyebrows

It gets worse when you have to listen to your alarm make noise in your ears that it is time to go to work. The early morning rising is the most annoying of all. Especially if you had a late night trying to cook a nice meal to eat after starving yourself of your dream food and finding your tummy roaming about in snacks, only to come back at your face with snatches and snatches of hunger. Or was it just a long day in traffic or long nights buried in one work?

It’s okay. I feel you.

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On Fixated Ignorance | If You Prefer The Taste Of Pineapples…


Culled From #ConvosWithEC

“A Lion is never bothered by the opinions of a sheep. So no, I’m not taking the fixated ignorance of these people personal”

These were the words of Dhee Sylvester, notable with his choice of words and expert thought opinions. If you are stuck on your thought Pattern especially regarding a situation, or you just need some thought provoking conversation to kick start your day, better yet, if you just need a  juicy spice of a convo, Dhee is your genius go to guy.
And for that, he made our SPOT ON for the week. Here is the hot slice of his genius head.


I don’t know if this practice is exclusive to Nigerians or if it’s a universal thing, but I find it extremely annoying when people try to blackmail you with your past utterances or convictions. I believe that you should have the right to speak from the perspective of how things are, rather than maintaining a stand you know is wrong just because you’re afraid of people calling you a fair weather person.

Continue reading “On Fixated Ignorance | If You Prefer The Taste Of Pineapples…”

Bowel 25 | The Transition

Late Birthday Post.

Travelling To 25th Lane

There were days when we grew hips and tended to our hair, mostly because we were cautious for our bodies, not for the rightful reasons but for the luxury of growing up, becoming a girl fully aware of the attraction we hold on boys. It was like melted wax, a light bubbling along the lines of teenage years, exuberance that soon run out. Because as we grew, realities began to set in. we worry for things like what we should eat and bother about eating too much oil that causes pimples. Somehow I feel strange when I birth any intruder on my face because I rarely invite them. It is safe and pleasing to say I have a pimple free life unlike others I know. I hardly get any and when I do, it appears like a marked dot in the middle of the ocean. It bothers me because I suddenly feel strange. I want to get it off. Somehow a stubborn one always persisted for as long as it pleases.

I wonder to myself, if you fuss so much about just one pimple that stands odd on your face. How would you cope if they came in batches or how do you expect others to feel? Frankly speaking, that should be none of my concern. I care about my body and as much as I do hope others should do so to, it really does not fall in my niche of concern. Maybe if we have some kind of mutual connection because when it comes to body matters, many dispositions are involved.

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Daring Transitions


I don’t know why but my childhood memories usually appear faint. A deja vu feeling, wandering thoughts or some sort of significance connection is what makes me remember things. Things I had seen and the little things I had done like a child playing in the mud.

I was washing plates by the sink when my thoughts ran back to the first time I started cooking. My mind, I am made to believe is a phenomenon. Because I cannot remember the first time I started heating the pots and  having the knife show me some cooking skills. Heck, I cannot even remember what particular things I did at some ages. I do not want to believe it is some kind of short memory thing. I think my brain indirectly neglect the things that makes other things not matter. Let’s just call it a psychology mess though I am not quite sure.

I worked out my remembrance between periods, trying to figure out the age and time frame I started going to school. I have no stress doing this, I think the periodical time frame helps my recollection. Such things as when I started to draw, tiny lined drawings with big heads or one particular period where I could eat a whole house, the time my hips started to come out or my crushed ego at failing a question in primary 5.

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Sign #5: Idiots Fixate On Problems

This is another most curious habit of idiots. Fixation on problems.

Before you read on, take a phone that is not water resistant and dunk it into a bucket of water. After about ten minutes, bring it out. My guess is that it is off. Right?
Now, I need you to do something for me. Look at the phone very well. Has it come on? No? Well maybe you aren’t looking at it hard enough. Try harder! Still hasn’t come on? Okay, try something else. Shout at the phone. It should come on. Hasn’t still come on? Oh, you’re not doing this right. Shout harder at it. Perhaps, the water has blocked its ears. Shout even louder. Didn’t work? Don’t give up yet. I’m sure you have heard that [silly] phrase- “never give up”. If shouting doesn’t seem to work, then begin complaining. I’m sure this should work.




I take an active leadership role in a number of organisations. One of the things I have come to realise is that problems do not solve themselves. I also realise that,

Looking at a problem, no matter how long, doesn’t solve it.

Shouting at a problem, no matter how high, rarely solves it.

Complaining about a problem, no matter how bitterly, hardly solves it.

So I tell whoever works with me, if you’re pointing out a problem, then you must suggest a solution- no matter how little. If you’re shooting down someone else’s solution, then you must bring a better, more workable one. So they know better than to come to me to tell me about a problem without telling me how it may be solved. One of the first things to do when faced with a problem, I show people, is to first recognise it as one. And then the very next thing is to begin to think about a solution or how to handle or manage or adapt to it.

I do not tolerate people who point out problems or just talk about them without thinking of a solution or of contributing to the solution. I do not tolerate idiots. You shouldn’t too.

Kunle Soriyan says if you say “Nigeria is a crazy country! Nothing works here! Nigeria needs help!” perhaps you are the one that really needs the help. We have known for 50-odd years that Nigeria is a crazy country. We have known since 1960 that Nigeria needs help. And you are just finding out? Really? Then you must be a blast from the past. And you must need serious help.

This is what idiots do. They stare at a problem with morose eyes. The active idiots shout about the problem. And the vocal idiots complain about it. But no idiots attempt to fix problems. They do not look for solutions. Their concentration is on the problem and the wish that it would go away on its own.

To an idiot, what should otherwise be the very basic concept of problem solving becomes one of the higher mysteries of the celestial system.


READ MORE Idiots Guide To The Universe #4.


Akpoveta Valentine ‘t

IDIOTS GUIDE TO THE UNIVERSE #4. | Are You Investing In Time Or Wasting It?

READ: Idiots Guide to the Universe  #1

Idiots Guide To The Universe #2

Idiots Guide To The Universe #3



Another sign of highly idiotic people is an undying and inexplicable love for inertia; for staying in one position either physically, mentally, or in any respect for an extended period of time and achieving absolutely nothing.

Idiots can waste a whole day away without pointing at one meaningful thing they have done, learnt or achieved. Hard as that may seem to you, it is actually true!

Continue reading “IDIOTS GUIDE TO THE UNIVERSE #4. | Are You Investing In Time Or Wasting It?”