Do you remember how you zapped out of the exam hall and it looked like you read nothing and know nothing of the questions on the exam papers staring at you?
This is a blank state.
And gradually with time, you begin to fill in the gaps till you arrive at a whole.
A state of the mind that calls for re strategizing, mapping out your thought plans and taking a clue from situations and people around. This is also the time you decide who your friends really are and watch them afar, you also get to think about what aspect of life you should reconsider.
This is the time for some kind of life blanks. And no frivolity or wishy wash will pass through these blanks. Because it becomes irritant. Suddenly your attention span to some things becomes short and you get restless and a bit worried about nothing and something in particular. If you feed well, you can think well and reach out. If you feed wrong, you think amiss and end up polluting yourself and others with irrelevance.
I think it is someone who cannot properly harness his inner energies to fill in the blanks and feed well that goes about in all rounds wherever, spewing salad( a mixture of confused concoctions; my def), meaning unwell.
Continue reading “Blank States”
The first time, you raised a question and I lost touch with my chords in a bid to give an introduction.
You don’t know who I am yet.
Then came subtle kisses and holding of hands. For a minute in a sec, I thought it was pretty but
pretty is not as good. It was beautiful.
Your eyes always made gestures as if your brows were dancing on a work free day. Your smile
captures the very essence of the fine lines, reminds me every time I look at the mirror, it is not
my reflection I see.
I see a very sweet sweet man whose full eyebrows helps me raise the questions, ‘what would it
be?” and “who is he?”
Continue reading “Hey Eyebrows!”
I don’t know why but my childhood memories usually appear faint. A deja vu feeling, wandering thoughts or some sort of significance connection is what makes me remember things. Things I had seen and the little things I had done like a child playing in the mud.
I was washing plates by the sink when my thoughts ran back to the first time I started cooking. My mind, I am made to believe is a phenomenon. Because I cannot remember the first time I started heating the pots and having the knife show me some cooking skills. Heck, I cannot even remember what particular things I did at some ages. I do not want to believe it is some kind of short memory thing. I think my brain indirectly neglect the things that makes other things not matter. Let’s just call it a psychology mess though I am not quite sure.
I worked out my remembrance between periods, trying to figure out the age and time frame I started going to school. I have no stress doing this, I think the periodical time frame helps my recollection. Such things as when I started to draw, tiny lined drawings with big heads or one particular period where I could eat a whole house, the time my hips started to come out or my crushed ego at failing a question in primary 5.
Continue reading “Daring Transitions”
I remember the songs now. Halfway. The one we chant late into the night. It meant anything to me now But It catches my fancy today. And it somehow spreads a thin line of an awkward smile across my sullen cheeks. I have had enough to deal with inwardly that the chorus seeped through my mind and somehow want to sting my eyes.
No, I did actually got stung. I flutter my eyelids begging them not to spill because this my present façade of a being; against the one that wrestles inside will shatter the isolation of thoughts to anyone who comes asking what is wrong. They seem to have merge, finding a compromise to tell me hey girl, it is that bad you can no longer cheer and everyone will note it because you are not very good at hiding.
I was at the edge of running mad in water. I said to myself just before I penned this down.
Leave. Go outside and rage. Facing the toilet mirror and pour it all out.
A bolt was coming, I saw it coming but somehow I had fought it and stood my ground. Continue reading “Buckle My Shoe”
I know of a god; he is you and he is me. He is made of every essence possible but he has this Achilles hill…HE IS ALSO A BEAST!
One; Everyone I know, I mean EVERY HUMAN that my eyes and ears have had knowledge of- whether good, bad, ugly. They all need to survive.
Two; Much more, they all need to find expression and be the god they are.
Three; There is a struggle, a fight, a war…It reminds me of a story about some Jewish builders who were carrying out the construction of temple walls in the heat of an uproar. They held swords in one hand, mortar and trowel in the other. In EVERYWHERE and in EVERYONE here on earth is the beast and the god at war. For some, the god has more victory over the beast, for many the beast is at feast. It was Paulus Romanus code named 724 who exclaimed; “O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death?”
I know of a god, he is you and he is me. He is made of every essence possible but he has this Achilles hill… HE HAS A BEAST!
Somewhere around 1210 BC, Dreadlock son of Judges, code named 1619 said these prayers before he committed suicide; “O Lord God, remember me, I pray thee, and strengthen me, I pray thee only this once…”EVERY lion I have met has at least a spike in his paws, and they are in four categories.
Some have adapted to it. Some have their movement slowed down. Some others are not moving. The forth keep moving while they remove the spike one by one.
At some point, one could blame nature or creation for the imperfection and unfairness of life. Today it’s in your favour, tomorrow it is against you. We wake up one day to consciousness to discover the class of family we were born into, the personality type we carry, the habits we suddenly discover but know not where they came from, and so many other things. But come to think of it, that’s the way it is here on earth. Disequilibrium and chaos theory! The good question should be how winners made it despite the unfairness and imbalance of nature. Sincerely that’s my question to you. Excuses don’t cut it. Life has been unfair since whenever, embrace that fact and deliberately beat your portion out of life. Be aware of the beasts and seek creative ways to tame it.
Paul Shola Oguntade
Creative Director, AVAN House.
Photo Credit: google images
Enjoyed this post? By all means, care to share and do subscribe for more. Your feedback is greatly welcomed.